Ofsted Poem

There's only one F'in Ofsted,
But that's quite enough for us.
If there's no F'in lesson plan,
There's one hell of an F'in fuss.

There's an F'in form to fill in,
For everything that's said.
There'd be no F'in future,
If that fails to please the Head.

Sounds like one F'in photocopier
Has died from overheat.
There's no F'in chance at all
To keep the worksheets neat.

There's no F'in inspector
When your lesson is first rate,
And there's no F'in good excuse
To explain why you were late.

There should be an F'in handbook
For everything to do.
Tell the R.I. you left it
For light reading in the loo.

There's no F'in parking space,
For half the F'in staff,
"RESERVED" for F'in Ofsted
Who have the last F'in larf.

There's no F'in spiritual,
Or cultural education.
No F'in equality,
But much in differentiation.

There's only one F'in Ofsted,
With its "Education Speak".
Thank God there's an F'in Friday
To end the F'in week.

Now the Ofsted team has retreated,
We printed their F'in report
On bog rolls with failures deleted,
But their praises amounted to naught.

So you see the same F'in white paper
As you saw before they came here.
Nothing changed as result of their labour,
Save divisions from living in fear.